Knowing in the Moment

The good lady of the house has been discussing the notion of 'presence' with her friend. (Why she can't just talk shopping and hairstyles.......... ?) They were musing on 'context', and the present moment set in linear time.

Let me explain:
Let's say that you are going through old papers, selling things that you have owned for a long time or having a clear out of accumulated 'stuff'. Will the experience of the present moment, doing each of these activities, be different from... say.... creating a new garden or furnishing a new home or choosing a new car? The former list could be framed in terms of 'dealing with the past', whereas the latter could be thought of as 'creating the future'.

Her question was: when doing the doing, does the fact that it might be contextualised as either past or future focused, actually impact upon the experience of the moment of doing?

Now there is some research that suggests that humans can't envision the future without being able to access the memories from their past. If this is so, then notions of past and future are connected in the brain. So where is the present? Is it lost, somehow, between the past and future? I have also heard told, that the whole idea of linear time is a human construct involving a miss-recognition of consciousness. Also, that neither the past nor the future exist at all; that humans live only in the present but are not 'conscious' of it, living 'as if in a dream'. (Try Eckhart Tolle)

So there you have it. The future/past, thing isn't important. Only the present moment can be experienced and that is all there is. The problem for humans is that you are rarely 'there' to appreciate it! (See interesting discussion.)

Deep for me, or what!!
I'll be tackling Cosmology and The Second Law of Thermodynamics next.

Bleating not drowning

So here I am: still alive and bleating in France. I'm sure you're all worrying about me. If you 're not, why not?

Actually, I'm fine, thank you for asking. I've just been too busy to write. And yes, a sheep can be too busy to write. There's so much going on here what with work on the flat, visitors, work on the garden, neighbour problems, social activities, making new friends.............It takes me all my time to keep up! I have started a book although, unfortunately, that's all I've managed to do: start it. It's a book of my poems.

Then there's the good lady of the house. It's hard to keep up with her as well. She's now into tapping (EFT) and The Law of Attraction. You'd think she'd be slowing down on this stuff, but not a chance. She's motoring away with her life in France and her own inner journey. Why is it that you humans are concerned with all this 'inner' stuff. I'm a sheep and that's it. Inner/outer - it's all the same: sheep and sheep.

The Dark Side of the Mug

I wanted to show you the back of the mug as well as the front because I feel a bit of a philosophical moment coming on..............

I want to put forward the idea that this mug represents the human condition. A bit of a leap, I know, but indulge me on this one.

We all, humans and sheep, have a front: what we can see when we look down (and in the mirror, of course); and the part at the back: what we can't see. (Lisbeth has a friend who is writing a novel based on this idea and how this awareness affects how we think of ourselves.)

However, unlike sheep, I have it on good authority that you humans are also aware of an internal landscape: an internal 'Self'. Also, that part of this inner Self can be experienced as a feeling of emptiness: Who am I? Why am I here? and so on. The space in the mug, therefore, could be said to represent this inner 'emotional void' that can haunt so many of you humans.

So I arrive at the nub of the thing. You can fill the mug with things that are good for you or things that are not so good for you. Likewise, you can feed your emotional void with activities and thoughts that are good for you or activities and thoughts that are not so good for you. You won't always see it as a choice, but that's what it is.

As Lisbeth's house-mate and Talking Practice partner I will be reminding her, the next time she uses this mug, that she has choices about what she puts inside her body as well as, and more importantly, choices about what she does for, or believes about, herself. (Assuming, of course, that she will take council from a sheep!)

From clutter to cash update

Lisbeth has had a count up and, adding in the sale of a sledge today, the grand total is £75.00. "Well done you, Madame House Mate." A great success and well worth the effort. I think she still has quite a lot of things left but I expect she'll take it all to a charity shop. It's not only important for the house to be free from clutter but for Lisbeth's internal landscape to be free of mental clutter. Hence, clearing the former can help with letting go and clearing the latter....or so I'm told!

From breadth to depth

I just couldn't resist the temptation to alter the previous post title from "breadth" to "depth". It seems more appropriate for the content of the post and a better fit with the original song. I don't know why I didn't realize that yesterday. It's good, though, don't you think: "Another day over and deeper in depth"? I am really enjoying thinking up clever titles. Well, I've got to do something half decent or Lisbeth will have me doing more Formal Talking Practice!

Another day over and deeper in depth

Having choices: that's a good thing, right? Making changes in your life (if they are for the right reasons) helps you grow as a person, right? So why is Lisbeth finding it so difficult?

One of the models in NLP offers a structured approach to thinking through the process of change. It's called a well-formed outcome. The final stage looks at the 'ecology' of the proposed changes, focusing on the possible consequences for both the person driving the change as well as for others who may be affected. This suggests that it isn't OK to just go ahead and make changes willynilly. (Nice word.) Life changing decisions require the application of some wisdom: 'right thought' and 'right action'. To be able to exercise these, I imagine that it is necessary to have a certain amount of self knowledge so that one can distinguish between decisions made on behalf of the soul, (good) and decisions driven by the default motives of the personality. (Not so good.)

When all the thinking has been done, the consequences considered and the decision made, then it's just a matter of trusting the process, trusting yourself to do the right thing, and trusting that others can be resourceful for themselves.

Job done, Lisbeth! Monsieur Mouton has spoken words of woolly wisdom

Cool Hand Mout

I'm still thinking about the help I got yesterday with the links: Oh how I love this blogging thing! I am beginning to believe in myself as a blogger, despite the fact that I only have a loose grasp of all the blogging paraphernalia. (An 'r' in parapheRnalia - fancy that! If I'd done Latin, which I haven't, would I not be surprised?)

Any road up, as my friend says, I'm pretty pleased with my continuing talking practice, as well. Question: So what are your goals, Mouty in the talking department? Answer: I'm not sure that I have any. Question: When will you have practiced enough? Answer: What is 'enough'? Oooooo such questions. Maybe there isn't an 'enough' to get to. Maybe one just has to keep practicing, and the experience of practicing is 'enough' in itself? But now I'm starting to sound like Lisbeth.........

Reflecting on a visit from a friend

Lisbeth had a visit from a friend today. It is someone she's known for quite some time, although they don't see each other very often. They met through the house in England: her friend was the previous owner. They got to know each other quite well during the time that the house was for sale and have remained friends ever since. It was a good day. They had lunch together, checked stuff out on the net, discussed Lisbeth's situation and what she can do in France to earn money. Lisbeth likes to see her friend as she has a very nice energy about her.

I think Lisbeth needs to spend more time around people who help to lift her spirits and to focus on the future. She has a tendency to feel very stuck in the house in England so it is not an easy matter for her to summon the energy needed to break the pattern that keeps her from moving into a happier way of being.

Time spent with her friend always helps her to feel more resourceful and I am confident that, little by little, she will be able to rewrite herself in a more positive light. Why wouldn't she? There's a thought for you, Libeth, why wouldn't you?

Mrs Mop

Lisbeth's been quite the Mrs Mop today. She's been getting stuck in to cleaning some parts of the house that haven't been cleaned for some time, her being in France so much of the year. She's managed to keep reasonably OK although she could feel herself beginning to get panicky about everything there is to be done and how much everything deteriorates when she's away.

As far as I can tell, cleaning has pretty much always a trigger for feeling 'bad'. In France she notices it the same, yet seems to manage it better. In England, I think that she finds herself to be always catching up and never actually getting on top of it. In France the house is her house and she lives alone (apart from yours truly). Here, she sets the agenda and appears better at taking responsibility, not just for what happens, but how she relates to what she does. Because she manages her state better, she is more able to practice 'mindfulness' and stay 'present' when she's doing jobs that she doesn't like. Fascinating!

A philosophical moment

Lisbeth has now told one of her closest friends about my blog and I am very relieved that they think I'm doing OK. Not that I bother what others think.................well...................

Perhaps I do a bit. I suppose all of us have some misgivings about letting others see our creations, especially if we want to retain their good opinion. Although their good opinion is theirs, so how can it really help my opinion of me?

If we take this statement from a human point of view, then I don't suppose that it would be an unreasonable thing to be concerned about, as the human condition appears to be dominated by the vagaries of the ego-self. However, if I am sheep AND I am stardust (and who amongst you can say I'm not?), then I need fear nothing; or so I tell myself. I do what I do; I am what I am; And that is as it is.

Then again, isn't that the same for humans? Lisbeth says she'd be much happier if she could just let go of her ego-self and live accepting that everything is as it is. (Perhaps truly believing that she is stardust is too much of a stretch for a damp evening in Frebruary?)

Life stories: it's all in the telling

Lisbeth's back from her travels and has been talking a lot about one of the things she did on her sort of retreat. It involves how we tell the story of our life.

It seems that we may have a preferred style of narrating our life to others and to ourselves. The exercise she described involves experimenting with different ways of telling the various stories of our lives. This doesn't mean that the facts are altered. It is more a case of changing the lens through which they are viewed. So, for example, they practiced talking about a fairly ordinary time slot in their lives, then retelling it in one of the following genre styles: Heroic, Comedy, Detective, Social Realism.

Lisbeth says that this simple exercise had quite a profound effect on her and has given her much food for thought. She has become aware of her own tendency to narrate the significant events in her life as if she were the villain of the piece. This, I am convinced, can't be the case, so I will be encouraging her to re-tell some of her narratives in a more constructive way.

For those of you who are interested, the theory behind this is George Kelly's Personal Construct Theory.
http://www.pcp-net.org/encyclopaedia/pc-theory.html

On retreat

Lisbeth's away on some sort of retreat at the moment, hence nothing much to report. The retreat is called 'In-depth Enneagram'. She has been working with the Enneagram for many years and says that it has helped her turn her life around both emotionally and practically. She says she wouldn't be in France if it wasn't for the Enneagram, so I am all in favour of it!

With Lisbeth away, I have taken the opportunity to have my own kind of retreat: simple standing. However, Lisbeth says that my standing will be more meaningful if I 'invoke a quality' at the same time. I'm not sure what she means by that, especially as this 'quality' is invoked in the form of a question. (I know, I've probably lost you already!) Anyway, if you're still with me, I admit to having given it a go. I try to get my energy to connect with the earth then say to myself "If I had more '..............', how would that be? (The quality can be things like 'presence' or 'openness' etc.)

Well, it's interesting. That's all I'm prepared to say. No doubt Lisbeth will be full of it when she returns (which won't be for a while), so I'll find out more, then.

Fortune favours the bold

There you go! What was I saying yesterday? Today's 'quote of the day' couldn't be more apt. I will add in: "Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it." David Starr Jordan

Stressing about having courage

I will be really pleased when Lisbeth comes back to France. She is getting quite stressed in England with her situation. So much so, that she ended up with pains in her chest, last night. She's never had pains like these before so looked up symptoms of heart attacks on NHS Direct. Come on, Lisbeth. Have courage and do what needs to be done. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, Social Activist and Former First Lady.

Honora de Sousa has the following advice for you, Lisbeth:

1) Understand - in every fibre of your existence - that what you're about to do is terribly frightening. Understand with every cell in your body and every thought in your mind that you are, in fact, scared of doing this thing and don't want to do it at all.
2) Contemplate how facing this fear will help you or someone else you care deeply for. Consider for a moment, despite all of your feelings of fear toward this thing, what it would mean, what it would change in your life to be able to do it freely!
3) DO IT!

Honora de Sousa http://www.oddchild.co.za/sections/blog/5

Changing templates and psychology?

Now why would I be thinking of changing my blog template? I don't know. Maybe I like change? Or, it's because while Lisbeth's in England and I'm here in France reporting on her clutter-clearing, I need something to do. So if you visit this blog and find it's using a different template, don't be surprised. On the other hand, if it's different for a while, don't be surprised if it changes back again. Why? Because people like what they know. That's why it's hard to change important things. That's why it's hard to change behaviour.

Oo..er..........we start with changing templates (not too difficult) and suddenly we're into the psychology of changing behaviour!

Well, as we are on the subject, psychology tells us that we are comfortable with what we know - even if it isn't good for us. I can say this because Lisbeth knows all this psychology stuff.

I know..................all that education and she's having difficulty sorting through a few boxes of actual stuff!

Letting go the old to make way for the new

It's certainly the right time of year to be going through this sort of exercise. I can't believe Lisbeth hadn't realised the significance of it, especially with New Year's Eve tomorrow. I know she's put off clearing out the English end of her life for many years. I am also sure that she understands why she hasn't tackled it before and how she keeps herself stuck. That being said, it still isn't easy to do what needs doing.

However, this time, I am confident that she will be able to make some progress. If you're sure about the big picture, I tell her, just do what needs to be done to make it happen. Or as Susan Jeffers' book title says "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway"

Tackling 'letting go' and 'moving on'

Lisbeth's in full swing cleaning and tidying so that the house is more relaxing to be in and she feels able to start sorting. The activity itself is important because she has a tendency to slow down and get depressed on these trips to England, so keeping active is crucial.

This time, however, she has resolved to be different - or at least to manage it better. She is determined to make real progress sorting out her stuff from the past. By 'stuff ' I am referring to stuff she has accumulated over her life and then more stuff inherited from parents. All this stuff is stored in boxes and containers all over the house: in the cellar, under the beds; filling cupboards, even stacked up in the corners of rooms. She has had a real block about doing this because: 1) She's been a serious hoarder; 2) She doesn't know what to do with it all; 3) It represents the drawing to a close of her life in England. She's attempted to tackle it many times before. Many, many times! Yet the emotional stress of letting go and moving on has always overwhelmed her.

I don't understand it. If she can get herself to France, buy a house on her own (with no French); start a new life from scratch; be learning the language and dealing with all kinds of problems, why can't she sort through a few boxes?