Black Hole 101

If this Hadron Cullender, or Head-on Collider thingy really can produce black holes, (when it's working again, that is) then I have something that I can't wait to vote into 'Black Hole 101' straight away.

According to Impact Lab's August 29th, 2008 article, Julia Lohmann, a UK artist has "mastered the art of transforming a sheep’s stomach into a lamp shade".

Mastered the art! MASTERED THE ART!

She seems to think that, because you can use the wool for knitting and eat all the meat, that it's OK (if you can 'master the art', of course,) to turn the stomach into a lampshade.

It takes a while to do, apparently, because you have to clean it before you give it a rounded shape by stretching it over a balloon (a balloon!) and letting it dry. Et Voila! And again.

Ye Gods...........

Tapping or Tupping?

Yesterday I mentioned this 'tapping' thing that Lisbeth is doing. I wasn't sure, at first, if I'd misheard? It sounded like tupping which, as far as I am aware, is about copulating (with a ewe). (I've put this last bit in brackets, because it is written like that in the dictionary definition.) Does that mean it isn't obligatory - the ewe bit?

In looking up 'tupping' I came across a 'tupping crayon'. This is a kind of big marker pen that is strapped on to the ram (in a sort of harness) for him to use when he is running around with a field full of ewes. Then, when he mates with a ewe, he marks her at the same time, so that the farmer can see where he's been. I suppose the harness saves him time as he won't have to keep stopping, asking the name of the ewe, noting it in a little black book, etc! Thank goodness you humans aren't inflicted with this same harness mechanism!

Anyway, Lisbeth says that tapping is a way of releasing negative emotions. She seems pretty good to me so I'm not sure why she thinks she needs to do it but - hey - you know the female human gender and stuff like that.

Did you know that you can't use the term female (femelle) in French to refer to a women? It is a term reserved for animals only. And while we're back to animals, I noted that the dictionary of veterinary terms added the sentence "Joining is the same thing" to their definition of 'tupping'.

Well Lisbeth has spent much of the day tupping bits of paper together with glue to make a birthday card for a friend. Ah.........bless.............

From Dada to Baabaa

You will remember that I had a series of posts protesting that sheep are more intelligent than you all probably think? Well, I would like to present to you a colleague of mine who is making a bit of a name for herself in the art world. Welcome to the new movement of Baabaaism.

I really am stardust

We really are stardust, you know. Joni Mitchell might have been singing just a song back at Woodstock, but it's true.

I was thinking about this when I had another look at one of the cards that Lisbeth was given for her birthday with a sheep on it. The front of the card had this little sheep going up a hill under a starry sky. The next has the other side of the hill where he would come down. Inside, it showed the little sheep actually coming down covered in stars.

I like to think that, because he struggled up the hill, the stars came down to meet him and they stuck to him all over. Now he's covered in stars and become stardust.

While I'm talking - you might be interested to know that I am still in the little room at the back of the house. My place in the hall continues to be taken up with Mr Dancer's wine!!

Are you sitting comfortably?

As I've been a bit down, lately, I've been browsing the web more than usual. I look for stuff on mouton - of course - and on sheep. That doesn't mean that I don't look at anything else, but these two tags are my favourites.

Well, last night, I came cross this sheep chair. Now I don't know what you think, but I think it looks weird. Lisbeth says she wouldn't like to sit in it and I wouldn't like to be it, so it's thumbs down from us. Would you fancy it in one of your rooms?

Woolly Wisdom

In all the fiddle and faddle that's been going on here, I forgot to tell you that Lisbeth received this lovely book for her birthday from Maud (one of my readers). It's about time that our wisdom was recognised!

It's called Woolly Wisdom by Dan Donovan and is full of great quotes such as: "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get nervous and give the wrong answers"Joseph Blosephina.

Of course, Lisbeth knows all about woolly wisdom as I am here to keep her on track and on message. What I'm not able to do is to get her to take better photos. This is quite lamentable but it's all I could find. (And with all those cables!) As she was also given a pretty snappy camera for her birthday, which she absolutely loves by the way, I'm hoping that she will be uploading better ones than this; when she's worked out how to use it, of course!

How to ride a sheep

Now I'm not suggesting that sheep like to be ridden, nor is it something that I would advocate. However, as this little chap seems to be having such a good time, and the sheep in question appears not unwilling to oblige, everyone seems happy.

And while you're viewing, you can be thinking up a caption for Saturday's post!

Things happen?

You never know how things are going to work out, do you: life, and stuff? I'm not absolutely sure that being in France is the right thing for me, but hey, who would know, if I don't? I suppose there isn't a right answer because each day is each day. Some say that what happens tomorrow, next week, or next year, is very much dependent upon what happens today: either in practice or in the thoughts that we will have today.

So, if I did know what I wanted to happen, how would I make it happen? It seems that "For anything to happen there has to be a transfer or change or conversion of Energy. A transfer from one type of energy to another type - like from chemical to mechanical, or potential to kinetic."

That means that if I find that life here in France isn't for me, and want to be a sheep-star, then I will need to turn potential energy into kinetic energy and get myself along to these auditions.

Vitruvian Mouton

How cool is this picture! At last, we have found our place in the art world. Eat your heart out Leonardo.

Cup-cake sheep

I found these nice cup cakes on the web. I think I'll ask Lisbeth if she can make some.

More proof of ovine intelligence

As it's Sunday and Lisbeth is having a quiet day doing not very much, I have been surfing the net and found an article about sheep in Yorkshire who have worked out how to negotiate 8ft (3m) cattle grids so that they can graze in people's gardens. They lay down and roll until they are on the other side.

I am only bringing this story to your attention because there was some discussion, sometime ago, about we ovines being much more intelligent than you think we are, and I'm not sure that you all took it sufficiently to heart.

Dancing in the rain

It's certainly a movement kind of a week. Here are some dancing sheep. They give some idea of what life is like, here, at the moment. It's go, go, go. (There isn't anything to report outside because it rains every day.) Every day. It's horrible and everyone is fed up. Every day it rains. Every day.

Dancing, dancing

It's certainly a movement kind of a week. Here are some dancing sheep. They give some idea of what life is like, here, at the moment. It's go, go, go. (There isn't anything to report outside because it rains every day.) Every day. It's horrible and everyone is fed up. Every day it rains. Every day.

And while we're in party mood...................

OK. Following yesterday's birthday merriment, I thought you all might like to get involved in the on-line game of Pin the tail on the ........................ No, just kidding!

What I am suggesting, however, is still in the realms of 'animal fun'. Although I can't, for the life of me, work out why you humans are always so willing to create stupid games about animals or want to make fun of us................. Anyway, I've started, so I'll finish.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to go 'Through the Keyhole' and see who lives in a house like................. No, just kidding, again.

We're actually going to learn how to draw a cartoon sheep.

Well, you never know!

Ovine Intelligence

Question from Maud to me:

"I wonder if you would like to comment on the assertion that sheep rank in intelligence just below pigs?"

Thank you, Maud, for this. Of course we are more intelligent than people think and pigs are more intelligent than people think they are, as well. In fact pigs can rank as smarter than dogs (see stories) and not everyone knows that.

The article that you referred me to draws attention to the fact that we can see in colour. Imagine what it's like for us, therefore, having to look at all those awful glossy kagools worn by the walkers who swarm through our pastures at the weekend and assume we're stupid! We know they think we're stupid because we also have an excellent hearing.

Another little known fact is that we can recognize faces and remember up to 50 faces of our sheep friends for several years. More importantly, we know whether you (or our sheep friends) are happy or angry so we like it better if you smile at us.

The only real drawback is that we're not good at getting up if we fall over. But then neither are you humans when you're drunk!

So, think on! We are not just dumb woolly creatures. Next time you're out walking and the sheep move away from you, consider that it might be because you look unhappy or angry; because your kagool clashes with your trousers; or that we prefer to reflect, quietly, on absent friends!

The meaning of sheep

Now this is the sort of thing that could go on any self respecting noticeboard, don't you think? Five sheep, all sheep-shape and Bristol-fashion.

I wonder what meaning they have............? They could be an advertisement for real or toy sheep for sale, woollen goods or a knitting group? On the other hand, they could be advertising the next meeting of the a self-help group (for those who feel sheepish about going.)

Then again, it could be a poster for the next concert of a pop group, featuring the lead singer (or baarer, if it's a sheep group). It might be showing a soloist with their groupies or, continuing the musical theme, it might be referring to the Lake District sheep singing Jerusalem.

Another thought is that they could be advertising a course on how to speak 'Sheep' because they all seem to be saying something, although the one top left looks as if it might be dancing, so it could be a call to go Line Dancing: Open to all. No one baared.

The Haik-ewe experiment

As it's still raining here and is very miserable I've been checking out this quantum physics poetry thing "through the medium of sheep"(I really like that phrase!),

Check out the real thing at Quantum Sheep: The Haik-ewe experiment and then make some poetry of your own with these two-dimensional sheep. Each time you refresh the page, you get a different arrangement of the sheep and (because they are the medium) a different poem.

A bit under paaaaar

Ah me! I seem to be feeling somewhat out of sorts and don't know what to write about. I just don't seem to have the energy that I had a few weeks ago. It could be the weather, of course, because it has rained on and off for days, probably longer. I stand here under the veranda musing on this and that and listening to the rain. On the other hand, I could have over-taxed my brain with posts about biquintiles or quincunx or my bespoke poem for IBM's Boswell? Who knows? Maybe it's an age thing?

Perhaps life in France isn't for me, after all. I could just be seeing the grass as greener in the UK where, it seems, you can get a job as a creative sheep on a 'random poetry' project.

An artist has been given a grant (from Northern Arts) to explore notions of randomness and quantum mechanics "through poetry, using the medium of sheep". I think that might be a nice project to be involved in. I would have a word on my back and then wander about, knowing I/we were making poetry. What do you think of that, then, as a way of being part of something bigger than oneself?

Lisbeth says there is a very interesting and amusing discussion about this project on AbleStable

Mouton Art

And while we're on the subject of Art, I came across this great site artmoutonneux.

I am going to ask Lisbeth to do something arty that includes stuff about me and sends it to this artist, Isobelle Vannobel.

Supremoutism

Here we are. This is me. Minimal Mouty. 'White on White' (1986) paint on modroc, sheep-sized, Vienne, France