I've had some communication today about my poem. It seems that Lisbeth's friend, Mr Grammarman, has commented about my linking of 'poise' with 'because'.
I do know they're not an exact rhyme, Mr Grammarman, and it isn't because I'm "just a sheep" that the rhyme is as it is! (Shades of Green meets Grey Grazing?)
I actually chose to reject what might be thought of as a 'better' rhyme: "You have such charm, you have such poise. You lean. You look. You make no noise." My decision to reject a rhyme like this is because I'm working at a more sophisticated level than you might think!
Serious consideration was given to the utilization of 'because' as well as to my choice of posing a question: "You lean towards one side because?" As a result, this line is probably pivotal to the poem in that it subtly embodies the 'ish-ness' of Visitor 1. Look at the photo. Is she perfect? No. Does she have charm? Yes. Are there some questions as to her provenance? Yes. Is the photo intriguing? Yes.
Hence, this interrogative sentence, complete with slant rhyme, captures the charming uncertainties (think semiotics) of Visitor 1.
It's not called Talking Practice for nothing!
I do know they're not an exact rhyme, Mr Grammarman, and it isn't because I'm "just a sheep" that the rhyme is as it is! (Shades of Green meets Grey Grazing?)
I actually chose to reject what might be thought of as a 'better' rhyme: "You have such charm, you have such poise. You lean. You look. You make no noise." My decision to reject a rhyme like this is because I'm working at a more sophisticated level than you might think!
Serious consideration was given to the utilization of 'because' as well as to my choice of posing a question: "You lean towards one side because?" As a result, this line is probably pivotal to the poem in that it subtly embodies the 'ish-ness' of Visitor 1. Look at the photo. Is she perfect? No. Does she have charm? Yes. Are there some questions as to her provenance? Yes. Is the photo intriguing? Yes.
Hence, this interrogative sentence, complete with slant rhyme, captures the charming uncertainties (think semiotics) of Visitor 1.
It's not called Talking Practice for nothing!
2 comments:
Monsieur Mouton
I love reading your musings, but I would like to be able to read other people's comments. Did Mr Grammarman post a comment? Can we see it please?
Hello Sally
How sheep shiny of you to leave a comment. (Are you the Sally who sent the Sheep Family photo?)
Unfortunately, you can't see anything from Mr Grammarman because he didn't leave his observation, as a comment, here. He just referred to the rhyme thing in an email about something else. Nevertheless, I felt I should defend myself just in case others were taking the 'just a sheep' line.
Thanks for your comment, though. You seem nice. Do talk with me again.
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